Friday, January 21, 2011

The Friday Rant - Jan 21st Edition

Ooh, ooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell?
Ooh, ooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you.

"Lynyrd Skynyrd" 

Have you ever run down food road? You know, where all the fast food joints are...Mickey D's, BK, Wendy's, KFC, Tim Horton's...and sometimes the little slower than fast food places like Applebees, Kelseys, Boston Pizza, etc...

I think somebody should take the food industry to task for emission control from their kitchens.

I mean, think about it for a moment. We check emissions for cars to make sure they aren't putting out too much pollution. We check smelters and mills to make sure their emissions are within government standards.

Should we not be checking the fast food industry too? I mean, it's getting dangerous out there to run. That savory aroma of fat fast food must be pumped out of the ductwork using massive jet engine powered fans to ensure that anyone within a mile or two of the joint who has less than superhuman willpower gets ensnared into sneaking a quick burger just to keep the tumtum happy.

And of course, they are all within a block or 2 of schools so we can start the young ens early into mainlining those aroma's into their base memory. I mean really, Mickey D's has been accused of much worse like giving out "free" toys with meals to help them cause parents everywhere to deal with screaming little terrorists having tantrums sell their happy meals. 

So are there any solutions to police these emissions? Should we be checking the horsepower on those exhaust fans? Should they have to prove they are really cooking and not just releasing canisters of burger/chicken/french fry smells on an unsuspecting public to lure in customers?

All I know is that this has to stop. We have to rise up and fight back. I know what my solution is to this travesty of emission justice....

  • Stuff gauze up my nose before the run to ensure I can't smell the food
  • No money in my pockets when I run so I can't buy fast food
  • No phone in my I can't call someone to get me money for fast food
and finally, my best solution...... 

Change my route so....

Looking forward to a long run this weekend and a little playoff football with a few of these (and I have that glass too)...very tasty:

The predictions after going 2/4 last weekend

Pittsburgh over Da Jets
Green Bay over Da Bears

Enjoy the weekend all...Superbowl is Coming Soon


Laura said...

....I need to put a neighborhood ban on the people who cook their delicious Sunday brunches while I am slogging through a long run - bacon the bbq does nothing to enhance the test of a GU at 9am on a Sunday...

Anonymous said...

I'm with Laura. Bacon on a neighborhood run is a killer.

Emz said...

Bacon is motivating!!

I loved running through a campsite during my whiskey row marathon last may.

As soon as I finished - bacon & cheese crepe for me.

Christi said...

I love the smell of bacon on my long run because it motivates me to get home all that much sooner!

Love the predictions for this weekend! Go Steelers!

Michelle said...

The worst was the Tony Roma's across the street from my Running Room. When I was in the half-marathon clinic, we could smell them making those onion loafs on our way back from our Sunday morning long runs.